PHOTO: Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with not-so-frustrated nuclear scientists in 2008
Amid all the coverage of Tuesday’s nuclear deal between Iran and the 5+1 Powers, The Onion (Caution: Not A Real Newspaper) offers the human side of the story from the Natanz uranium enrichment facility:
NATANZ, IRAN—Standing in the dim subterranean facility in which he had spent the better part of his peak work years, deeply frustrated Iranian scientist Ali Khatami told reporters today that the recent Iran-U.S. nuclear accords have forced him to shutter the project he has wasted 12 years of his life developing.
“Perfect! Let’s just flush a decade of my life down the drain, then, shall we?” Khatami said as he angrily typed a code into a nearby computer to power down over 8,000 P-2 centrifuges he reportedly squandered countless nights diligently overseeing.
“Do they even know how hard it is to enrich uranium? How much I sacrificed? I never married, I’m prematurely gray, and now guess what? The prime of my life is gone forever. Unbelievable. This country’s going to hell, man.”
The nuclear physicist then paused, sighed, and wondered if he might realistically find work in Yemen.
