Photo: Dawid Zawi (iStock/Getty)
Gareth Southgate, the former manager of the England football team, is giving the BBC’s annual Richard Dimbleby Lecture. It is a reflective address, using his personal journey to consider the challenges for those in the next generation.
He speaks of the lack of role models, the influence of harmful on-line spaces, and the need for real-world guidance.
[There] are callous, manipulative and toxic influencers, whose sole drive is for their own gain.
They willingly trick young men into believing that success is measured by money or dominance, that strength means never showing emotion, and that the world, including women, is against them.
His words are not just for a “traditional” England. They should resonate within Muslim communities in today’s UK.
A Crisis of Masculinity in Muslim Communities
Toxic masculinity comes after British Muslim men through socio-economic struggles, a lack of positive role models, and cultural pressures. Living in deprived areas and facing higher unemployment and discrimination, they may cope with rigid gender norms as a coping mechanism.
If they see few who balance faith and modern masculinity, some men may turn to hyper-masculine figures or harmful narratives that promote dominance and emotional suppression. This struggle, worsened by the stigma around seeking help, contributes to poor mental health, strained relationships, and social disengagement.
This crisis is whipped up by a lack of mainstream representation and the dominance of toxic voices online. Figures like Andrew Tate, “Tech Bros”, and self-proclaimed Muslim alpha males filling the void.
Who is guiding young British Muslim men towards a healthier, more balanced understanding of masculinity and their own identities?
Southgate pointed out that “boys are spending less time at youth centers, sports facilities, and community events”. So they do not meet role models such as coaches, youth workers, and teachers.
Few mosques and community centers, with notable examples like the Green Lane Mosque in Birmingham, offer youth engagement. Many young men lack consistent mentors to guide them through faith, manhood, and responsibility.
The collapse of youth services has worsened the issue. UNISON research found that more than two-thirds of council-run youth centers in England and Wales have closed since 2010.
Southgate noted that youth “spend more time online searching for direction and are falling into unhealthy alternatives like gaming, gambling, and pornography”. The dangers go much deeper. Young men are being drawn into misogynistic ideologies, hyper-masculinity, and conspiracy-driven narratives, driven by populist solutions that are often short-term and always looking to blame the “other”.
Manosphere influencers and “anti-woke” culture warriors offer an aggressive, confrontational version of masculinity, one that rejects emotional intelligence, kindness, empathy, and vulnerability. Some self-styled online Muslim “macho men” echo these ideas, harsh, controlling, and emotionless.
The Prophet Muhammad, the ultimate role model for Muslim men and humanity, embodied a different type of strength. The Prophet was not just a leader; he was a man of deep kindness, emotional intelligence, and strength rooted in patience and justice. He encouarged gentleness within the family, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” He taught composure and calmness: the strong is not the one who overcomes people with his strength, but the one who controls himself when angry.
He was emotionally intelligent, openly expressing love, affection, and care for his family, companions, and even strangers. An elderly woman would throw rubbish at him daily as he walked past her house, but when she fell ill, he visited her out of concern, showing her compassion that eventually led to her embracing Islam.
Instead of absorbing toxic messages, young Muslim men should be reclaiming their identity through faith and character, understanding that true masculinity lies in self-control, responsibility, and service to others.
A Joined-Up Effort
A coordinated effort in Muslim society is needed from families, mosques, and community leaders.
Mosques must do more than provide prayer spaces. They need active youth programmes, mentorship schemes, and leadership training. There must be an acceptance that they may not be relating to the challenges many young men face. Young people must be spoken with rather than spoken at, as initiatives like Here For Youth
Social media companies are eschewing facts and manipulating free speech and algorithms. Challenging harmful online influencers requires a promotion of critical thinking and media literacy to help individuals recognize misinformation, disinformation, and toxic narratives. Encouraging positive role models and fostering safe digital spaces can counteract extremist or harmful content with constructive, values-driven discussions.
Since Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk will not be doing this, governments and non-state actors must get involved. Muslim and non-Muslim educators and influencers should be present on platforms like TikTok and YouTube where young men are searching for answers.
Lower educational attainment, workplace discrimination, and economic struggles must be addressed. From policymakers to the grassroots, a joined-up effort is needed to restore investment in youth services, support employment pathways, and tackle bias in recruitment, instilling confidence rather than contempt.
“The Best Character”
We need conversations in mosques and Muslim spaces about what it means to be a man in Islam and a man in Britain. Men who have succeeded in life must lead by example, showing that true strength lies in character, not control.
To deal with the crisis of masculinity, we should not reject manhood. We should redefine it. Islam already provides the answers, teaching that a man is not measured by aggression, dominance, or wealth, but by his character, responsibility, and service to others.
Prophet Muhammad said, “The best among you are those who have the best character.” Now, more than ever, it is time to reclaim this message and ensure that British Muslim men grow into strong, compassionate, and responsible leaders, defeating the narrative that they are victims of a broken system.
